thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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