i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
