No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
