I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The feeling are messing with the penis
Sext me about skeletons
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
