Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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