I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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