I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Still dying that you shit outside
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
