I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
im on a boat
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