You really coming over, don't trick.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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