Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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