she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
