why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize