My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
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