just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
