Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Randomize
