Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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