You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
