used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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