Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
