it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
