mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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