The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
