Quick, to the slutcave!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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