yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize