Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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