dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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