question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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