you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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