His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize