Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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