JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
