nut hugger
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize