I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Randomize
