I must be too annoying 4 u.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
