cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
