Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
