mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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