He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
