Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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