i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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