Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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