i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
