How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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