By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
