And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
