Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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