They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize