That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
