Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I can't turn off my feet"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
