Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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