I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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