I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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