I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
there is puke in my bra ... again
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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