My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
