Well douche your snatch and let's go!
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
