She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
