i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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