you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
