my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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