is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
