I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
