I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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