I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
bring money and cleavage
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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