You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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