Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Also, beer. Big fan.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
