If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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