no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
