there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
