Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
