HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
